My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Send help, water and tortillas.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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