Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize