I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
