It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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