I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
