Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
