i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
