Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
