margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just had sex bonerless
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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