So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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