I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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