i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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