So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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