Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
