I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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