I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Houston, we have a squirter
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
