Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
