no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
