i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
