lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
