I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
