I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
