There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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