yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
