I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I looked at my own cervix.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
