"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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