Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
