I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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