They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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