Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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