My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
