I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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