If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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