Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
