I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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