You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
