Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My liver just had a heart attack.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
