so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
