Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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