Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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