No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize