Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We named our party play list daddy issues
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
