he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
