Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
