At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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