if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
