Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
