It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
