there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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