i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need moral support for this bender
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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