just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
