Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
