So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize