Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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