i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I had to cum in my sink.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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