I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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