i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
