im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
