Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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