Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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