were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
