WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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