How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She announced her abortion via fbk
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
