I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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