My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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